Well, I just dropped my favorite boy off to become a soldier. I knew this day was coming since last August when I drove him to the recruiting office. I was hot, swollen and nine months pregnant. Brad was determined to do something worthwhile with his life. I was determined to pretend that this wasn't actually happening.
There are two things I never ever wanted to be when I was growing up. Those two things are a preacher's wife and a soldier's wife. To be quite frank I'm a little on the selfish side and a lot on the controlling side, neither of which will do for these two extremely sacrificial jobs. I want my husband home with me on the nights and weekends and I don't want him to be responsible for everyone else's problems, but most of all I just want him to be safe.
I know he's my husband, but I have had the heart of a mother for about four years now, so I worry like one and I'm afraid he'll get lonely or hurt. I hope he makes friends easily and loves his job.
There are so many things that I wish I had done. For starters I wish I had embraced this whole army thing a whole lot sooner. I wish I had read up on things and familiarized myself with all of the terms and tried harder to understand what is actually going on. I wish I had saved out money to send him off with things like stamps/paper/pens. I wish I had helped our sons write out little notes and make cards to send him off with. I wish I had made special daddy picture books for the kids, especially for Eva, who I hope will remember him. I wish I had gotten up early and made a huge family breakfast. There are so many things that I should have done differently instead of just ignoring the inevitable. The most I can do is try harder starting today.
Lastly, I just wanna say how much I love Brad and how proud I am of him for following through and doing what he believes is best. It won't be easy and I won't always like what's happening and what I have to give up, BUT I will always have my husband's back and he will always have my heart.
