Change Is Inevitable...so, deal with it ;-)

  I sat down to write a blog simply because I need to de-stress and relax, but I know that if I try to read a book or watch a movie then I will undoubtedly pass out and I'm not quite ready to do that just yet. It's only 9:17pm here and the kiddies still need their teeth brushed, diapers/pull-ups changed and their bedtime story before I can actually call it a night. I feel like such an old lady. Am I seriously ready for bed at nine at night?! What happened to the fun, exciting, spontaneous, loud, obnoxious, young girl that I used to be and who is this boring old bat that has taken over? Okay, maybe I still have loud and obnoxious down, but I miss the rest of me.
  I can tell you what happened. Kids happened. Do I regret having my children? Absolutely not. Do I miss who I was before children? EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!
  It really bugs me when people try to make you feel bad about changing. As if you did it to purposely piss them off. Like, when your single friends get all annoyed that you actually want to spend time with the person you CHOSE to marry and they say stuff like "You promised you wouldn't change" or "You better not ignore us, now that your married. We were friends before he came along". First of all, I never made that promise. I'm not stupid and I realized that no matter who entered my life first my husband would always be number one. It also tends to get on my nerves when friends who don't yet have kids refuse to even try to understand that going out for you now takes some serious planning. No, I'm not trying to be rude when I turn down your offer to leave my house in 5 minutes to meet you at the store. I simply need time to find a babysitter, feed the kids dinner and possibly even shower (because that happens when I can fit it in now that I have kids, not first thing in the morning:-/). And, of course the age old argument that "Just because you have kids doesn't mean that you have to change." Um, let me just say that yes, yes it does. That is, in fact, exactly what it means. Do people not understand that as soon as a ring goes on your finger or as soon as conception takes place you have already begun the changing process? Getting married is change. Having a baby is change. Change is inevitable.
  Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. I, for one, love being married and I also love being a mother. To me change is not something to be feared, but to be embraced. I get to be creative and come up with different ways to have fun with it. For instance, when you are married you get to hang out with other couples, make some new friends, do different things and act completely surprised when your hubby shows up for girls night out;-) And, when you become a mother the simplest things in life like taking a ten minute shower, having your mom watch the baby, so you can eat dinner without him/her on your lap, reading more than a page of a good book at a time or getting a full eight hours of sleep become luxuries to you and you appreciate life just a little more then you did when you were childless and spoiled.
  Plus, there is no better feeling than little Mason crawling up on my lap just to give me a smooch before he crawls back down to go play with his toys (strewn across the entire house). There is no better sound than my mini me, Ryan, laughing his head off at a poop joke or begging me not to sweep up the ants (oops! That's where that piece of jelly toast landed) because they are really cool and they're his friends. There is no better reward than when my husband comes up behind me and rubs my shoulders and back after a long day, because he appreciates everything I've done.
  So, having written all of that let me just finish by saying that number one, I live for girls night out!.... and date nights with my lover. Number two, I wouldn't trade my kids in for all the spontaneity and energy in the world. And, number three, maybe when I'm in my forties and my children are grown I can revisit the young girl I used to be and go have fun with her, but for right now I am content to be this tired, sometimes frazzled, but usually happy version of me.
 

Politically Incorrect!

Hmmm...oh boy! Where do I even begin? I guess I should start out by saying that I am one of the most politically incorrect people I know. It's not that I try to be rude or hateful or that I want people to dislike me or cringe when they see me coming, it's just that I don't see the point in sugar coating the truth. I don't care if you're red, yellow, black or white. I don't care if you're fat or skinny. I simply use those adjectives to describe people, because it's easier than saying "The young woman behind that older man", especially if you're standing in a crowded room and there are a bunch of young and old people mingled together. Having said that let me now say this maybe I should start being more aware of what I say, since I have two young boys, one of which repeats absolutely everything...even things I don't remember ever saying.
I might have come to this revelation the day my son tried having a conversation with a "darker skinned" child that lives down the street. It went something like this:

Ryan: Hey, little black boy want to play?
Jeffery: What?!
Me: (completely mortified) Ryan, his name is Jeffery.
Ryan: (getting an inch from Jeffery's face and staring into his eyes) Hey, Jeffery what color is your skin?
Me: (jumping out of my seat) OKAY...who wants to blow bubbles?

Now, the thing here to remember is that Ryan is only three and super curious and alert. He picks up on every difference and similarity and asks a billion questions. He was not being mean at all, he was just wondering what made him and his friend different colors. So, how do you go about explaining that blurting that stuff out is rude without making it seem like one is better than the other? Here is another example. Maybe, you'll understand more of what I'm getting at.

Ryan: Hey, dad, Victor the Great is my black friend.
Brad: Ryan, don't say he's your black friend, just say he's your friend.
Ryan: Why? Is it bad to say black?
I enter the room.
Ryan: Hey, mom, Victor is peach!
Me: (looking at Brad) Great! Now we've taught him that being white is good and being black is bad:-/

So, now do you understand why I am a little leary about trying to teach my son that noticing differences is not okay?? Don't get me wrong if he were to ever make fun of the differences I'd be all over that with discipline. He is definitely no angel, like when my mother came over for dinner and he called her a "Whore-Goose"...I can promise you I have never ever said that and he was disciplined on the spot!...or the time when he announced to everyone that "Nana wasn't beautiful" (Nana is my very sensitive MIL, thank God she wasn't there to hear that one!). But, he isn't a little demon, either. He is just a little boy learning the ways of this crazy, confusing and hypocritical world. Hopefully, I can help him navigate it, while keeping him from getting shot or ending up in jail.
So, here's to all the politically incorrect people out there trying to make their way in this ever confusing "politically correct" world.