This blog is just for me to get my thoughts out. It probably won't be too interesting or funny, but it's just a little list of things I think about.
1. Today I came across a post where a stay at home mother was trying to demand respect for her choice to stay home and the comments that came flying in were disturbing at best. Now a few things irritated me about this: 1.) The mother came off as not only pathetic, but also very self righteous. You shouldn't feel like you need to defend yourself or your choices if you are doing what you know is best for your family. Who cares what Facebook thinks? Sure, it's fun and even healthy to debate occasionally, but to get all worked up and start listing off every little thing you do is unnecessary and just plain annoying. 2.) There was a very clear lack of respect for women who choose to stay home. There were men and women alike calling this mother lazy and useless and saying she is basically a prostitute, because she has sex with her husband to keep a roof over her head. How absurd! It just confirmed how screwed up this world is. Women aren't allowed to stay home and raise their babies without being called lazy and prostitutes. And then someone had the nerve to say that if this woman's husband didn't have to provide for her and the kids he wouldn't need a job...at this point I started seeing red and that brings me to number 3.) If you have ONE job you are NOT sacrificing a darn thing!! You aren't sacrificing for your kids, you aren't sacrificing for your spouse, you are doing what YOU need to do to survive. How does having a family change the fact that you need to work? Single people need food and shelter too, which leads me to believe that whether or not me and the kids were around my husband would still have to work. So, unless you are out working two or three jobs then please don't start whining about all you sacrifice. That's not to say that I don't appreciate my husband, I do. And, I have been blessed with a man who wants me to stay home and raise the kids and supports me and even sticks up for me and OUR choice if need be. All, I'm saying is don't expect a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum (Stay at home mothers included).
2.) For quite some time I have been struggling with feeling like a failure as a mother because my husband and I decided to send our oldest child to public school. I try to be as involved as I can. (and for the sake of lists that I hate) I go on field trips, I show up to every school function he has, I buy stuff from his school to support it financially, I do all his homework with him and make sure it is neat and not sloppy, I am excited to work on his projects with him and go shopping for school supplies he needs, I listen to everything his teacher says and support her and reaffirm her authority in his life, so that he knows I'm on her side and he needs to listen to her and respect her and I always have a positive attitude about anything regarding his school. Heck! I'm about to join the PTA!!! Yet, I still feel like I'm coming up short and failing him. I feel guilty that my five year old is spending over six and a half hours away from me every day. I feel horrible when he comes home feeling sick or with a bandaid that a nurse had to put on him.
Growing up, I was homeschooled and so were a lot of my friends. Our mothers were viewed as super heroes. People would tell them how wonderful they were and thank them for their huge sacrifice. They would tell them what a huge service they were doing for their kids and how much we would benefit from it and I did! My mother was very dedicated to us and our education and she was an amazing teacher. She was/is extremely patient, smart, organized and committed. We all graduated high school and got jobs, because of her. None of the homeschooling stigmas apply to us, we aren't socially awkward, we aren't stupid, we didn't do school in our pajamas or sleep in til noon, we did school every day and (gasp!) even had homework sometimes. And, I wish that I could be that super hero for my son. BUT, I know that I can't.
Because of how I was raised I feel like I'm doing my precious little boy a huge disservice. In my head I know that for right now public school is better for him and he is doing very well. But, in my heart sometimes I feel really sad. I guess all I can do is focus on all the positives. He is excellent at making friends and learning. Ryan has an amazing memory and he is like a sponge, he absorbs everything and picks up new things very quickly. He understands things at his age that really surprise me. My five year old is learning to read and spell and I am so excited and proud of him. And, most of all this doesn't have to be permanent. If it doesn't work out or if he starts struggling down the road I have the option to homeschool....or hire a tutor ;)
Well, that's all for now. I have to go put my sweet and spicy girl down for a nap. I guess this kinda turned into two blogs in one..lol! That's what happens when you haven't blogged in a while. I'm sure I'll blog again shortly and I'm almost positive that my big over opinionated mouth will have gotten me into trouble before that happens.
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