Blessings

I am not over exaggerating when I say this has been the hardest year of my life. To be quite frank when I was a little girl dreaming about what life as a grown woman would be like I never saw myself where I am today. Where am I today? Today I feel broken and alone. I feel like I'm holding on by a thread of hope and I'm afraid that at any moment it might snap. I'm trying my hardest to get myself out of this funk. So, here I am about to count my blessings, because I know that things could be worse...way worse.
I'd like to start off my list with my children. All three of them are simply amazing: Ryan- My oldest. The baby that scared me out of my mind. I had to learn everything about raising a baby with him. He was absolutely perfect and he still is. He is healthy, hilarious, strong willed, handsome...just perfect. He's the kid that makes me burst out laughing multiple times a day. He is also the kid that sends me to my knees in prayer, so that I don't kill him...lol! He's probably the most like me personality wise, but he looks just like his daddy...so handsome! I love my little man.
Mason- My middle child. They say the middle child is forgotten, but Mase won't let me forget him. He follows me everywhere!! I think the doctors may have forgotten to clip his cord at birth...lol! That boy loves his momma! He is quieter than Ryan, but he knows how to get his point across. He loves to cuddle and if I wanted to he'd let me carry him around all day long. He's happiest when he's by my side. And, last night he said "I love you" to me for the very first time. How can it get better than that?
Eva- My third and possibly last child. My first little girl:-) I can not get over how amazing she is. She is so small and beautiful. She sleeps best if she's cuddled up to mommy or daddy. She has the prettiest little smile (I don't care if it is "just gas" at this point, it's gorgeous!)And, when she looks up at me with her sweet little face I know that there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do for her.
I love my babies. When I feel like lying down and giving up I look over at my angels and realize that they are my life. They are worth whatever I have to go through. They are reason enough for me to not just exist, but to actually live my life to the fullest. To find joy in "the small things" and realize that maybe they're not so small after all. Maybe that's what life is all about.