Remember when...

    "Please let me go back. Please, please, pleassssseeee!!!!" This was my thought as I passed by my old apartment complex today, on the way home from apple picking with my three kids. Every time I am anywhere near the place I used to live a flood of nostalgia fills me and I wish that I could go back in time...just for a few moments. It was a simpler time. It was just me and my husband. We both worked full time jobs and only had to worry about ourselves. We could spend all of our free time together. We didn't have to schedule dates or try to find the time to focus on "us" and Saturdays meant that we could sleep in. Plus, I really loved that apartment. It was very clean and pretty spacious, or maybe it just seemed that way, because there was only two of us.
  Sometimes when life, here in my three bedroom house with my three kids, gets a little too chaotic for my taste I close my eyes and imagine myself back there, alone in my two bedroom apartment. I can remember spending hours getting ready, trying to make myself beautiful for Brad. I remember coming home after being out late at a friends house and being able to just fall into bed without getting a bunch of other people ready for bed first. I remember making dinner for two at nine o clock at night. I remember feeling high on love. Life was great!

  When I open my eyes again I see my family: Ryan, my funny boy, standing in front of me asking for the millionth time if I like when the police give me tickets. Mason, my momma's boy, saying "Mom" a thousand times and no matter how many times I respond with "What?" he never has anything to follow it up with. Eva, my beautiful princess, fussing to let me know she's hungry...again. And, Brad, my husband, a little older than before and a lot more tired, but just as handsome. I see my four favorite people in the world in our messy home and I realize that while times back then were much simpler, with fewer responsibilities, fears and heartbreaks, I can't honestly say that they were happier. When I open my eyes and look at my family I see my heart.