My loves

  So, at the moment I am feeling pretty emotional, because my daughter will be turning one next month and I feel like I'm losing my sweet little baby. Pretty soon she will be walking, talking and going through the terrible two's...ugh! Lol. As, I was walking her around the room tonight to help her fall asleep I couldn't help but to stare at her sweet little face and smile. Usually, when I am trying to get my babies to fall asleep I try to make as little eye contact as possible, because I want them to realize that it's night-night time, not time to socialize...haha! But, I just couldn't help it tonight! And, sure enough when her little eyelids fluttered open for a brief second, like they do right before you doze off, she caught me staring at her and she started giggling. Her cute little half asleep baby laugh made me start to laugh, so we just stared at each other laughing....and then it was back to square one trying to get her to sleep...lol! But, I wouldn't give up that moment with my daughter for all the sleep in the world. She doesn't know it yet, but she came into the world at just the right time. In the midst of chaos and confusion, Eva was my reason to smile.
  I am also so completely in love with my two growing boys. Ryan and Mason. I can't believe that I have a 4 year old and a two year old! Wow...time really does fly. Ryan makes me laugh every day! Right now he is fascinated by people smoking. He doesn't understand it. Every time he sees somebody puffing away he asks me (very loudly) why they want to die. I try and pull him away before he can say anything else, but sometimes he's just too quick. I literally cringe and brace myself every time we walk into a store or visit family who smoke. Today as we were leaving the library there was a woman smoking outside and he literally stopped and just stared at her and I could tell he was about to start asking her questions, so I quickly whisked him off to the car. I have tried explaining that adults can do whatever they want, even if it's not healthy, but he doesn't want to hear it. He really wants to know why they are killing themselves. He has had conversations with adults who smoke and luckily they have been very nice about it, trying to explain about addictions and being very compliant when he tells them not to get their smoke near his mommy or Eva, but I know one day he's gonna say something to the wrong person and get me into a fight...LOL! I guess I'll just keep smiling and apologizing.
  Mason, Mason, Mason...that boy is crazy! Today he nearly gave me a heart attack by climbing out of the car window and on to the roof while I was trying to buckle the other two in. I look up to see his feet dangling. Sometimes he makes me wonder why I even bother going out in public with the kids. But, then he'll come up and wrap his sticky little arms around me and kiss me on the neck and I know why I haven't given him up for adoption...yet ;-)
  They don't realize it, but they will someday when they have children of their own, that they are the reason I have never given up. On my baddest days they are the reason I know love exists.