For the momma's.

Do you ever feel like you're an imposter, like you're not really a mom or maybe like you shouldn't be? Do you ever wonder how badly you're messing up your kid(s)? Do you ever wish that you could just be better, maybe like your own mother or another mother that you know? I do. All the time. Sometimes I wonder if people look at me and think "That lady should be fired! Worst babysitter ever!" Two things happened to me this week that kinda put those negative thoughts to rest....at least for a little while :-)
The first thing happened at church on Tuesday night. I was rounding up the kids, trying to get them to settle down and behave for the service. I was thinking how tired I was and how messy I must look. I was hissing at the littles and threatening spankings, while simultaneously promising treats if they would just be quiet. I heard someone calling my name and I turned around with a fake smile plastered to my face. It was a couple, who also have three children a few years older than mine. They told me how they had been watching me the past few services and were amazed at how well I handle the kids and they said I was just glowing and so beautiful. My first thought was to go take a pregnancy test...LOL! Only pregnant women glow, right?! Haha. But as they continued to tell me how wonderful I was and what a great mom I was I started to feel happy and gain confidence in myself as a mother and a lady. But, of course as soon as you start to really think about what just happened the doubts start to come. Like "Maybe they just felt sorry for me" or "They were just being nice because of the holidays." But, those doubts didn't have long to sink in, because the very next day as I was leaving the pharmacy and thinking how hyper the kids were and wondering why I couldn't manage them better I had a complete stranger stop me. I had just finished buckling all the kids into the car and sent a silent prayer up to heaven to give me the strength to get through three kids having pink eye and needing eye drops three times a day for at least five days. When I opened my eyes there was a lady standing there watching me, waiting for the chance to talk to me. She started to smile and she told me what an awesome thing I was doing raising my kids. She told me she knew how hard it was and how she knew that sometimes mothers second guess themselves and wonder if they are fighting a losing battle, but that one day we will see all of our hard work and time and dedication pay off. She said she had six grown children and that they thank her for being there and tell her of things that she did that really helped them that she never thought they would remember. She told me to hang in there and to never regret the sacrifice and hard work, because one day my kids will be grown and they will thrive because of me. And, then she said one thing that I will never forget, she said "I just wanted you to know that I'm routing for you and that I'll be cheering you on." I didn't really know what to say, I didn't know how to tell her what her words meant to me or how thankful I was that she had taken the time to stop and speak words of encouragement to a complete stranger. So, I just smiled and said Thank you. I don't know if she realizes what she did that day, maybe she does, maybe somebody did the same thing for her at one time, but that day she gave this momma the courage to not give up, the courage to do more than just mindlessly float through my day changing diapers and brushing teeth and waiting for something more.
So, I wanted to pass this on to all you wonderful, hard working momma's out there. To the moms with husbands who get to come home at night, to the moms whose husbands are far away working, to the moms who have to go out and work, to the moms who stay home all day with their babies, to the single moms and to the women who may not be biological moms, but who touch a child's life just the same. You are perfect, you are God sent, you are doing the absolute most important thing in the world and I am cheering for you.