As many of you know I went away this week to go see Brad graduate from BCT in Ft. Benning, GA. I imagined this trip to be almost as wonderful as our honeymoon. I planned and dreamed and saved almost from the minute he first left. I had high hopes and high expectations. I packed up my oldest child, a very talkative four year old, and drove to the airport.
I happen to be very paranoid when it comes to navigating around areas that I am not completely familiar with, so I got to the Rochester airport two hours early...that may have been overkill. We got through security and waited another hour and a half to board our plane...oops! Thankfully at this point in the trip Ryan was still high on excitement and didn't seem to mind the wait.
When we finally boarded he was bouncing all over the place. He kept opening and shutting the little window until I finally told him to knock it off and he introduced himself to everybody he came into contact with. A few times he even asked a few oldies how old they were :/...thankfully, they all handled it well. We arrived at our layover in Philadelphia with barely a hiccup in our plans. Philadelphia is actually where the hiccups started. I got a call from a friend, whose fiance was in Brad's platoon, saying that a bunch of guys had lost their day passes for Family Day and Graduation. Brad was one of them. I was livid. To make matters worse I found out that it wasn't even his fault. He was being punished for somebody else's screw up and in turn I was being punished. I sucked it up and forged ahead to Atlanta. I was determined to see Brad even if it wasn't for the amount of time that I had been expecting.
Atlanta didn't have any better news to offer me than Philadelphia did. Atlanta's frustrations were all financial. The rental car place wanted to put a huge hold on my card, making it impossible for me to pay for my hotel room. Thank God, my father in law was more than willing to help out or Ryan and I would have been camping out in that dang car.
We had left for the Rochester airport at 9:15am and by the time we got into the car to make our two hour trip to Columbus it was like 9:15pm. I was tired, stressed and disappointed. We finally made it to Columbus a little before 1am, after stopping for dinner with some friends and cleaning up Ryan's display of car sickness from the back seat of the rental...yuck!
The next (or the same) morning I was up at 5:30am to make myself look good for my man! I hope he liked the bags under my eyes.... By 7:15am we were off to Ft. Benning for the Beret Ceremony. I was nervous and excited about seeing Brad. When I finally saw him walking over to us my first thought was "Finally! Man, he looks sexy!" I gave him a quick hug (darn those rules about PDA while in uniform) and started snapping pics of him and Ryan. He had to leave like 7 minutes later until our spousal meeting at 11am. I sorta just stood around watching everyone else and feeling envious of all the women who got to spend the whole day with their soldier. Finally the pavilion emptied out and it was just me and Ryan sitting there. My friend, who got to spend the day with her husband, called to say that her in laws were coming back over to give me and Ryan a ride to where the meeting was being held. I was so grateful and relieved. Those people were my saving grace on this trip.
At the Rec center I finally got to see Brad again...YEA! The meeting was short and completely pointless and afterwards we met a few of his friends. This is where it gets bad. He asked one of the guys what time they were supposed to go back and received incorrect information. He showed up late to wherever he was supposed to meet and got chewed out by a DS. He was told he would not be graduating and that more than likely he would be sent home for good. That ruined the whole four hours that we got to spend together. We spent the whole time upset and worried about the future and just plain angry. It was hot outside in the GA heat and on top of that we were completely mortified.
Ryan and I went back to our hotel and I just prayed like crazy. I got a bunch of other people to pray too. That night around 11pm I got a phone call from Brad saying that he would be allowed to graduate, but not be a part of the ceremony. He was still in the army and head of to AIT as scheduled...PHEW! I was on cloud nine. Who cares about a stupid ceremony? Brad was still able to continue doing what he set out to do. We decided that I should still attend the ceremony, so that Ryan could see all the soldiers and all the cool stuff that happens during those things.
So, the next morning I followed my friend and her in laws to the ceremony. I thought I would be fine, but as soon as the ceremony ended I felt completely alone. Everyone was hugging and crying and snapping pictures with their soldiers and I was just standing there with Ryan. I lead him quickly to our car and got the heck out of there. We went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch and not soon after I got a text from Brad, saying that he was not allowed to see me that day. I wanted to kill somebody. Did I really just spend a thousand bucks to visit my husband for four hot and depressing hours?! I decided that for dinner I was taking Ryan to Chuck E Cheese. We needed to get out of the hotel room and he deserved to have a little fun. So, off we went for two hours of loud obnoxious fun. When we got back to the hotel I got a text from Brad, telling me to get my butt to the airport the next day super early, so that we could hang out. I started packing up all our stuff immediately, so I could leave asap the next morning.
The next morning we met our friends downstairs for breakfast to say goodbye and then we headed out. I made it to the airport without getting lost and met up with Brad. The time we spent at the Atlanta airport was the best time of the whole trip. We just hung out and talked without the threat of "going home" over our heads and plus, it was air conditioned...score! And, I got to kiss him AND hold his hand...woot, woot!!
So, basically I got to see my husband for less than 10 hours the entire trip. Was it what I was expecting? Not even close. Was I disappointed? Extremely. Would I do it all over again? Hmmmm...let me get back to you on that one. Am I happy that I went? YES!!!! Brad is definitely worth me having to jump through hoops to see his handsome face and taste his salty kiss ;-)
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
My loves
So, at the moment I am feeling pretty emotional, because my daughter will be turning one next month and I feel like I'm losing my sweet little baby. Pretty soon she will be walking, talking and going through the terrible two's...ugh! Lol. As, I was walking her around the room tonight to help her fall asleep I couldn't help but to stare at her sweet little face and smile. Usually, when I am trying to get my babies to fall asleep I try to make as little eye contact as possible, because I want them to realize that it's night-night time, not time to socialize...haha! But, I just couldn't help it tonight! And, sure enough when her little eyelids fluttered open for a brief second, like they do right before you doze off, she caught me staring at her and she started giggling. Her cute little half asleep baby laugh made me start to laugh, so we just stared at each other laughing....and then it was back to square one trying to get her to sleep...lol! But, I wouldn't give up that moment with my daughter for all the sleep in the world. She doesn't know it yet, but she came into the world at just the right time. In the midst of chaos and confusion, Eva was my reason to smile.
I am also so completely in love with my two growing boys. Ryan and Mason. I can't believe that I have a 4 year old and a two year old! Wow...time really does fly. Ryan makes me laugh every day! Right now he is fascinated by people smoking. He doesn't understand it. Every time he sees somebody puffing away he asks me (very loudly) why they want to die. I try and pull him away before he can say anything else, but sometimes he's just too quick. I literally cringe and brace myself every time we walk into a store or visit family who smoke. Today as we were leaving the library there was a woman smoking outside and he literally stopped and just stared at her and I could tell he was about to start asking her questions, so I quickly whisked him off to the car. I have tried explaining that adults can do whatever they want, even if it's not healthy, but he doesn't want to hear it. He really wants to know why they are killing themselves. He has had conversations with adults who smoke and luckily they have been very nice about it, trying to explain about addictions and being very compliant when he tells them not to get their smoke near his mommy or Eva, but I know one day he's gonna say something to the wrong person and get me into a fight...LOL! I guess I'll just keep smiling and apologizing.
Mason, Mason, Mason...that boy is crazy! Today he nearly gave me a heart attack by climbing out of the car window and on to the roof while I was trying to buckle the other two in. I look up to see his feet dangling. Sometimes he makes me wonder why I even bother going out in public with the kids. But, then he'll come up and wrap his sticky little arms around me and kiss me on the neck and I know why I haven't given him up for adoption...yet ;-)
They don't realize it, but they will someday when they have children of their own, that they are the reason I have never given up. On my baddest days they are the reason I know love exists.
I am also so completely in love with my two growing boys. Ryan and Mason. I can't believe that I have a 4 year old and a two year old! Wow...time really does fly. Ryan makes me laugh every day! Right now he is fascinated by people smoking. He doesn't understand it. Every time he sees somebody puffing away he asks me (very loudly) why they want to die. I try and pull him away before he can say anything else, but sometimes he's just too quick. I literally cringe and brace myself every time we walk into a store or visit family who smoke. Today as we were leaving the library there was a woman smoking outside and he literally stopped and just stared at her and I could tell he was about to start asking her questions, so I quickly whisked him off to the car. I have tried explaining that adults can do whatever they want, even if it's not healthy, but he doesn't want to hear it. He really wants to know why they are killing themselves. He has had conversations with adults who smoke and luckily they have been very nice about it, trying to explain about addictions and being very compliant when he tells them not to get their smoke near his mommy or Eva, but I know one day he's gonna say something to the wrong person and get me into a fight...LOL! I guess I'll just keep smiling and apologizing.
Mason, Mason, Mason...that boy is crazy! Today he nearly gave me a heart attack by climbing out of the car window and on to the roof while I was trying to buckle the other two in. I look up to see his feet dangling. Sometimes he makes me wonder why I even bother going out in public with the kids. But, then he'll come up and wrap his sticky little arms around me and kiss me on the neck and I know why I haven't given him up for adoption...yet ;-)
They don't realize it, but they will someday when they have children of their own, that they are the reason I have never given up. On my baddest days they are the reason I know love exists.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
45 days
It has been 45 days, since I last saw my husband. 45 days since he kissed me and the kids good bye and headed off to Fort Benning, GA. I can't believe that I have made it this long without him. We have been writing letters back and forth, since he doesn't get much phone time and I gotta say that it's pretty neat. It's almost like we are dating again, except that I get that excited butterfly in the stomach feeling when I see the post man pull up, not when I see Brad pull up...LOL! Getting his letters is the highlight of my week. It's what gets me through and holds me together.
The kids and I are back in our house now and things have been going pretty well. I'm not scared like I thought I'd be. I can actually sleep upstairs with the lights out ;) At first it was a little depressing to be back; to smell the scent of Brad's body wash drifting from the bathroom and knowing that it would eventually go away, because he wasn't here anymore to keep the scent "alive". It hurt a lot to put all the kids to bed at night and then go into my empty bedroom and sleep alone in the bed that I have shared with my husband for the past 6 and a half years or so. I had feelings from resentment to anger to regret. But, I can honestly say that at this point those feelings of loneliness have dulled a little and I am no longer angry. Things have been pretty good around here, considering my bff isn't with me at the moment. I am learning a new way of life and instead of trying to fight it and becoming exhausted in the process, I am embracing it and accepting it. It's so much easier to just let go and live day by day rather than constantly worrying about the future.
I gotta say that I am so proud of my Brad. I told him that if he was gonna do this then he was gonna do it right! No giving up and dropping out. No just barely getting by. Either do it good or don't do it at all. So, far he is doing amazing and he is loving it. My boy went from being a computer geek and couch potato to running two miles in 17 mins and 23 seconds (which is passing), climbing up a 16 foot rope (if that doesn't seem hard then YOU do it!) and becoming a sharp shooter (look it up, some of these guys didn't even pass their Basic Riffle Marksmanship test). He is sticking to it and finishing what he started and that is HUGE for him. He is going out of his comfort zone and learning new things. He is accomplishing things that he never thought he'd be able to do. He is becoming a man that his children can look up to. All I ever wanted was for him to be proud of himself and to be happy and it looks like that is finally happening.
I miss him more than mere words could ever express. If you are happily married then you can probably understand how I feel. If you are not married then imagine trying to get by without an arm or a leg. Imagine trying to do just every day things without something that you have grown so dependent on and maybe even started to take for granted. After a while you'd learn a new way to accomplish all those old things, but you'd still wish that that piece of you wasn't missing.
So, here's to the next 27 days and making time fly by until I get to hold my very own soldier, my hero, in my arms again. Brad Charles Wolff, I love you to the moon and back!
The kids and I are back in our house now and things have been going pretty well. I'm not scared like I thought I'd be. I can actually sleep upstairs with the lights out ;) At first it was a little depressing to be back; to smell the scent of Brad's body wash drifting from the bathroom and knowing that it would eventually go away, because he wasn't here anymore to keep the scent "alive". It hurt a lot to put all the kids to bed at night and then go into my empty bedroom and sleep alone in the bed that I have shared with my husband for the past 6 and a half years or so. I had feelings from resentment to anger to regret. But, I can honestly say that at this point those feelings of loneliness have dulled a little and I am no longer angry. Things have been pretty good around here, considering my bff isn't with me at the moment. I am learning a new way of life and instead of trying to fight it and becoming exhausted in the process, I am embracing it and accepting it. It's so much easier to just let go and live day by day rather than constantly worrying about the future.
I gotta say that I am so proud of my Brad. I told him that if he was gonna do this then he was gonna do it right! No giving up and dropping out. No just barely getting by. Either do it good or don't do it at all. So, far he is doing amazing and he is loving it. My boy went from being a computer geek and couch potato to running two miles in 17 mins and 23 seconds (which is passing), climbing up a 16 foot rope (if that doesn't seem hard then YOU do it!) and becoming a sharp shooter (look it up, some of these guys didn't even pass their Basic Riffle Marksmanship test). He is sticking to it and finishing what he started and that is HUGE for him. He is going out of his comfort zone and learning new things. He is accomplishing things that he never thought he'd be able to do. He is becoming a man that his children can look up to. All I ever wanted was for him to be proud of himself and to be happy and it looks like that is finally happening.
I miss him more than mere words could ever express. If you are happily married then you can probably understand how I feel. If you are not married then imagine trying to get by without an arm or a leg. Imagine trying to do just every day things without something that you have grown so dependent on and maybe even started to take for granted. After a while you'd learn a new way to accomplish all those old things, but you'd still wish that that piece of you wasn't missing.
So, here's to the next 27 days and making time fly by until I get to hold my very own soldier, my hero, in my arms again. Brad Charles Wolff, I love you to the moon and back!
Monday, May 21, 2012
See ya soon!!
Well, I just dropped my favorite boy off to become a soldier. I knew this day was coming since last August when I drove him to the recruiting office. I was hot, swollen and nine months pregnant. Brad was determined to do something worthwhile with his life. I was determined to pretend that this wasn't actually happening.
There are two things I never ever wanted to be when I was growing up. Those two things are a preacher's wife and a soldier's wife. To be quite frank I'm a little on the selfish side and a lot on the controlling side, neither of which will do for these two extremely sacrificial jobs. I want my husband home with me on the nights and weekends and I don't want him to be responsible for everyone else's problems, but most of all I just want him to be safe.
I know he's my husband, but I have had the heart of a mother for about four years now, so I worry like one and I'm afraid he'll get lonely or hurt. I hope he makes friends easily and loves his job.
There are so many things that I wish I had done. For starters I wish I had embraced this whole army thing a whole lot sooner. I wish I had read up on things and familiarized myself with all of the terms and tried harder to understand what is actually going on. I wish I had saved out money to send him off with things like stamps/paper/pens. I wish I had helped our sons write out little notes and make cards to send him off with. I wish I had made special daddy picture books for the kids, especially for Eva, who I hope will remember him. I wish I had gotten up early and made a huge family breakfast. There are so many things that I should have done differently instead of just ignoring the inevitable. The most I can do is try harder starting today.
Lastly, I just wanna say how much I love Brad and how proud I am of him for following through and doing what he believes is best. It won't be easy and I won't always like what's happening and what I have to give up, BUT I will always have my husband's back and he will always have my heart.
There are two things I never ever wanted to be when I was growing up. Those two things are a preacher's wife and a soldier's wife. To be quite frank I'm a little on the selfish side and a lot on the controlling side, neither of which will do for these two extremely sacrificial jobs. I want my husband home with me on the nights and weekends and I don't want him to be responsible for everyone else's problems, but most of all I just want him to be safe.
I know he's my husband, but I have had the heart of a mother for about four years now, so I worry like one and I'm afraid he'll get lonely or hurt. I hope he makes friends easily and loves his job.
There are so many things that I wish I had done. For starters I wish I had embraced this whole army thing a whole lot sooner. I wish I had read up on things and familiarized myself with all of the terms and tried harder to understand what is actually going on. I wish I had saved out money to send him off with things like stamps/paper/pens. I wish I had helped our sons write out little notes and make cards to send him off with. I wish I had made special daddy picture books for the kids, especially for Eva, who I hope will remember him. I wish I had gotten up early and made a huge family breakfast. There are so many things that I should have done differently instead of just ignoring the inevitable. The most I can do is try harder starting today.
Lastly, I just wanna say how much I love Brad and how proud I am of him for following through and doing what he believes is best. It won't be easy and I won't always like what's happening and what I have to give up, BUT I will always have my husband's back and he will always have my heart.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Faith
I am in an ornery mood, so if you are easily offended then please move on. Also, if my faith irritates you then, please, move on.
I am so sick and tired of this world! And, I'm tired of the people who think I should care what goes on here. I do NOT read or watch the news. What little I know comes from friends and family talking about it or tidbits from Facebook. If that makes me ignorant then so be it. I see absolutely no reason to have to hear about one more person killing somebody or one more child being sexually abused. This world makes me sick to my stomach! If I want to be able to sleep at night and take my children out in public without making them wear sheets over their heads then I can not waste my time absorbing this sick and twisted world.
Thank God for MY faith! Thank God that this is not it; this is NOT where my life ends. There IS something to look forward to; something to press towards. People think I'm pathetic for believing in a "story". Really? I'm pathetic for having faith in my God, whose miracles and signs and wonders have been very evident in my life since I was a young girl? But, you're not pathetic for not wanting more than this?? You're not pathetic for just accepting this filth as the best you'll ever get? Are you kidding me???
I am not a bible scholar. I can't sit here and quote scriptures that will somehow change your mind and make you believe. What I know, I know from experience. I know that it was God that raised my friend from the dead. I know that it was God that healed my smashed nose right in front of my eyes. I know that it's God that gives me the strength to get through the difficult times.
I'm not stepping on egg shells anymore. Nobody else does. I'm tired of taking a back seat to trash. It's not funny to see men disrespecting women or to see women wearing next to nothing out in public. It's not okay when parents swear at their kids or humiliate them in public. I'm done.
This world is NOT my home. I'm just passing through on my way to heaven!
I am so sick and tired of this world! And, I'm tired of the people who think I should care what goes on here. I do NOT read or watch the news. What little I know comes from friends and family talking about it or tidbits from Facebook. If that makes me ignorant then so be it. I see absolutely no reason to have to hear about one more person killing somebody or one more child being sexually abused. This world makes me sick to my stomach! If I want to be able to sleep at night and take my children out in public without making them wear sheets over their heads then I can not waste my time absorbing this sick and twisted world.
Thank God for MY faith! Thank God that this is not it; this is NOT where my life ends. There IS something to look forward to; something to press towards. People think I'm pathetic for believing in a "story". Really? I'm pathetic for having faith in my God, whose miracles and signs and wonders have been very evident in my life since I was a young girl? But, you're not pathetic for not wanting more than this?? You're not pathetic for just accepting this filth as the best you'll ever get? Are you kidding me???
I am not a bible scholar. I can't sit here and quote scriptures that will somehow change your mind and make you believe. What I know, I know from experience. I know that it was God that raised my friend from the dead. I know that it was God that healed my smashed nose right in front of my eyes. I know that it's God that gives me the strength to get through the difficult times.
I'm not stepping on egg shells anymore. Nobody else does. I'm tired of taking a back seat to trash. It's not funny to see men disrespecting women or to see women wearing next to nothing out in public. It's not okay when parents swear at their kids or humiliate them in public. I'm done.
This world is NOT my home. I'm just passing through on my way to heaven!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Crazy boys!
So, thinking over the past couple of days has made me realize that it's definitely time for another blog. In fact, I think I may be overdue for one. Let's start out by reliving Saturday's events. I woke up determined to get all of my errands done even though I knew all three kids had to come with me. I was a little nervous and stressed just thinking about it, but I pressed on. I got everyone out to the car and pulled out of the driveway, promising lunch at McDonalds if they behaved.
We pulled up to JoAnn Fabrics and Mason started his meltdown before we even left the vehicle. He's in that horrible stage where he wants to do everything himself, but he just can't. Rather than wait around watching him fumble with his seat belt I scooped him out and popped him in the cart. I was on a mission!!! I didn't let his wailing get to me. I just pushed through the store looking for what I needed. I refused to lose it when he climbed out of the moving cart and ran the opposite direction. I refused to lose it when he pulled stuff off the shelves and threw them into the cart. I even held my cool when my other son, Ryan, tried to pocket something. I grabbed what I needed and got the heck out of the store.
I decided it was lunch time and that McDonalds with a play place would be a perfect way for them to eat and run off some of that boundless energy. It started out okay. The boys ate and then took off for the large indoor "jungle gym" maze thingy and I sat back to relax over a double cheese burger. I did a pretty good job of pretending it was a salad and wouldn't hurt my midsection. That's when I heard the yells. Mase was upset about something. The high pitched screaming started. I got up to bring him back to the table. Herein lies the major problem. He was up pretty high and refusing to come down. In fact, he was in one of the "bridges" made out of material. At this point I just wanted to pack up and leave. I was done. I couldn't handle the screaming anymore or the other parents standing there watching like it was a show. That's when I hear it. The telltale coughing that means he's induced vomiting by screaming so hard. I jump out of the way just in time. It's raining throw up in McDonalds and some people were not lucky enough to get out of the way in time. Yes, my child hurled on a few of the other patrons :-/ Do I even bother apologizing?? I throw Eva in her car seat, climb up to get my child, tell the manager my kid got sick and hightail it outta there. I've never seen a play place clear out so quickly.
In the car I call up my husband and yell into the phone that he has 15 mins to get up and get ready. Mason is his for the day! I'm through! He handled my raving mad rant like a champ. I dropped both boy off and it only took me sitting in the parking lot of Wegmans, staring off into space for forty-five mins before I was ready to finish my errands.
Now, we're at Sunday. My son Ryan was supposed to be singing with his preschool class for our Sunday morning service. The song they were gonna be singing was "Jesus loves me". Ryan had already tried to protest during one of his practices. He told his teacher he didn't like that song and wanted to sing "Deep and Wide". He then proceeded to tell her that his mouth couldn't sing the song of her choice and while all the other kids were practicing the correct song he was belting out his pick. All I can say is thank God for Easter. After trying to practice with him all morning and him refusing to give me the time of day I resorted to threatening to take away his basket if he purposely messed up the song. Well, my threats and me singing Jesus Loves Me the entire way to church must have really inspired him, because he sang all the right words...loudly. He even took it upon himself to move from the second row to the first row and press his lips right against the mic. All you could hear was my kid shouting out Jesus Loves Me......and people laughing :-/ A few people have taken to calling him The Star...bless their hearts.
As you can see there is rarely a dull moment. I have a drama king and a star performer on my hands. Maybe one day they can take their love of theatrics and make momma some major bucks ;-)
We pulled up to JoAnn Fabrics and Mason started his meltdown before we even left the vehicle. He's in that horrible stage where he wants to do everything himself, but he just can't. Rather than wait around watching him fumble with his seat belt I scooped him out and popped him in the cart. I was on a mission!!! I didn't let his wailing get to me. I just pushed through the store looking for what I needed. I refused to lose it when he climbed out of the moving cart and ran the opposite direction. I refused to lose it when he pulled stuff off the shelves and threw them into the cart. I even held my cool when my other son, Ryan, tried to pocket something. I grabbed what I needed and got the heck out of the store.
I decided it was lunch time and that McDonalds with a play place would be a perfect way for them to eat and run off some of that boundless energy. It started out okay. The boys ate and then took off for the large indoor "jungle gym" maze thingy and I sat back to relax over a double cheese burger. I did a pretty good job of pretending it was a salad and wouldn't hurt my midsection. That's when I heard the yells. Mase was upset about something. The high pitched screaming started. I got up to bring him back to the table. Herein lies the major problem. He was up pretty high and refusing to come down. In fact, he was in one of the "bridges" made out of material. At this point I just wanted to pack up and leave. I was done. I couldn't handle the screaming anymore or the other parents standing there watching like it was a show. That's when I hear it. The telltale coughing that means he's induced vomiting by screaming so hard. I jump out of the way just in time. It's raining throw up in McDonalds and some people were not lucky enough to get out of the way in time. Yes, my child hurled on a few of the other patrons :-/ Do I even bother apologizing?? I throw Eva in her car seat, climb up to get my child, tell the manager my kid got sick and hightail it outta there. I've never seen a play place clear out so quickly.
In the car I call up my husband and yell into the phone that he has 15 mins to get up and get ready. Mason is his for the day! I'm through! He handled my raving mad rant like a champ. I dropped both boy off and it only took me sitting in the parking lot of Wegmans, staring off into space for forty-five mins before I was ready to finish my errands.
Now, we're at Sunday. My son Ryan was supposed to be singing with his preschool class for our Sunday morning service. The song they were gonna be singing was "Jesus loves me". Ryan had already tried to protest during one of his practices. He told his teacher he didn't like that song and wanted to sing "Deep and Wide". He then proceeded to tell her that his mouth couldn't sing the song of her choice and while all the other kids were practicing the correct song he was belting out his pick. All I can say is thank God for Easter. After trying to practice with him all morning and him refusing to give me the time of day I resorted to threatening to take away his basket if he purposely messed up the song. Well, my threats and me singing Jesus Loves Me the entire way to church must have really inspired him, because he sang all the right words...loudly. He even took it upon himself to move from the second row to the first row and press his lips right against the mic. All you could hear was my kid shouting out Jesus Loves Me......and people laughing :-/ A few people have taken to calling him The Star...bless their hearts.
As you can see there is rarely a dull moment. I have a drama king and a star performer on my hands. Maybe one day they can take their love of theatrics and make momma some major bucks ;-)
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Smile, what's the use in crying?
I was singing a sweet old song to my daughter as I was trying to rock her to sleep. I'm not sure why I always try to sing to her, because instead of putting her to sleep it usually makes her laugh....hard. In fact, like everybody else who has ever had the misfortune of listening to me sing, I think Eva would prefer it if I just kept my mouth shut.
Honestly, the only person who truly enjoys my singing is my son Mason...and he might be deaf. That boy would love it if I laid in bed next to him singing all night long while he snuggled next to me with his little arm wrapped around my neck. Ahh, how I love that little monster.
Back, to Eva. I was looking down at her chubby little face singing "Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though it's breaking..." Of course at this point she is smiling...and laughing. And, I'm pretty sure it wasn't her heart that was aching...lol! That's when I began to think about what I was saying. Do I want her to fake a smile? Most parents would instantly say "No! I want my child to be "real" and "honest". But, why does sitting down and crying or moping around have to be the "real" way?
I have never been a huge cryer. I can remember the last time I had a good cry. It was more than six months ago. Now, I did read somewhere that crying is actually healthy for you and releases some sort of toxin through your tears, so occasionally when I'm really hurting I do try and squeeze out a few tears just so I don't die or something, but other than that I just don't cry. Quite frankly I feel a little selfish and stupid for crying when I have so much to be thankful for and when I think of other people who have it way worse than I do.
I kinda want to teach my daughter to keep her chin up. Things are gonna happen. That's life. Will there be times when she absolutely can not control the tears? Of course, and I will be there to help her dry them. Life is life and I won't be able to stop her from ever getting hurt. Inevitably there will be someone at some point who does her wrong, who breaks a promise and maybe her heart. Whether its a friend, a teacher, a boyfriend or even a family member. There will be tough situations and hard decisions to make, but if I can teach her to keep moving forward with that beautiful smile on her face then I will have done my job.
Honestly, the only person who truly enjoys my singing is my son Mason...and he might be deaf. That boy would love it if I laid in bed next to him singing all night long while he snuggled next to me with his little arm wrapped around my neck. Ahh, how I love that little monster.
Back, to Eva. I was looking down at her chubby little face singing "Smile, though your heart is aching. Smile, even though it's breaking..." Of course at this point she is smiling...and laughing. And, I'm pretty sure it wasn't her heart that was aching...lol! That's when I began to think about what I was saying. Do I want her to fake a smile? Most parents would instantly say "No! I want my child to be "real" and "honest". But, why does sitting down and crying or moping around have to be the "real" way?
I have never been a huge cryer. I can remember the last time I had a good cry. It was more than six months ago. Now, I did read somewhere that crying is actually healthy for you and releases some sort of toxin through your tears, so occasionally when I'm really hurting I do try and squeeze out a few tears just so I don't die or something, but other than that I just don't cry. Quite frankly I feel a little selfish and stupid for crying when I have so much to be thankful for and when I think of other people who have it way worse than I do.
I kinda want to teach my daughter to keep her chin up. Things are gonna happen. That's life. Will there be times when she absolutely can not control the tears? Of course, and I will be there to help her dry them. Life is life and I won't be able to stop her from ever getting hurt. Inevitably there will be someone at some point who does her wrong, who breaks a promise and maybe her heart. Whether its a friend, a teacher, a boyfriend or even a family member. There will be tough situations and hard decisions to make, but if I can teach her to keep moving forward with that beautiful smile on her face then I will have done my job.
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